A Lamb without a Slaughterhouse

Society is filled with women enslaved to their beloved husbands.

I was approaching my eighteenth birthday, which naturally meant that I would become a potential; like a pig being prepared to be butchered, or a lamb trotting to its own slaughterhouse.

One day my mom sat me down ignorant of the war waging within me, and she said, “ Laia dear when a man comes to greet you you must be kind and lovely. And later when you are wed you must be the door for your husband to the secret garden.” I sat there squirming around like a fish on dry land; with inquiries filling my head, and I blurted out, “but mother, why is the woman always the one to sacrifice her satisfaction in her marriage by being a submissive woman, if this is what you and the others define as love I don’t want it.” Shock filled her serene face, and it was a face not of a submissive woman rather a butcher at a slaughterhouse. A tear slipped down my cheek and I raced up to the comfort of my room. I decided I will not pursue these heart-wrenching relationships, this is not love, this is only pain.

My mind was made I would not succumb to the pain that tormented all these women by either imposition or temptation, I will not fall under this spell.

Throughout the course of the following days’ suitors occasionally arrived at our doorstep requesting my audience, and I was adamant in rejecting them all. My mind was sturdy as steel, not even my mother’s disappointed glares could make me waver, I will not trot to the slaughterhouse. The conviction of a thousand suns filled my heart and soul and nothing will change it.

Then one day I was invited to speak with yet another suitor, my plan as normal had been revised and amendments were made in order to encompass all of these pathetic fools that came crawling to the door. I was to half-heartedly listen to whatever methods they had of swooning me, let my disinterest slide throughout the treacherous conversation by looking down at my watch or glancing occasionally out the window as he spoke, and then the grand finale; convey my sincerest apologies, utmost gratitude, and unwillingness to marry His Royal Snobness. With every “my most sincere apologies,” or “this was an amazing conversation, but I am afraid …,” In my mind I repeated my conviction, ‘Alone I am satisfied. Alone I am safe.’

My mother called me downstairs, and as I approached she had this satisfied look on her face. ‘No matter,’ I thought to myself, that face along with those to come in the future shall come crashing back down to reality from their utopia.

The son of my mother’s acquaintance sat on the couch; not gallantly, but also not slouching like someone had told him to carry the world’s burden on his shoulders. As I stood in front of him, he stood, I greeted him and he greeted me and told me his name was Elyas. I soon found out that, unlike all the other men I encountered, Elyas was a natural at making true conversation, he implored me to continue to speak with him, and once I started I couldn’t stop. ‘Maybe it was the sincerity of his eyes, not green rather it was a dimmed kind of pulped lemon color,’ I thought. We talked about books, food, and our aspirations for the future. As the conversation deepened I heard a little voice in my head, ‘Alone I am satisfied. Alone I am safe.’ My conviction wavered under his piercing stare. Then I began to think with the practical lens that I possessed. How different could this man be compared to the other men that I have met, reality sunk into every morsel of my body, how safe and satisfied could this man make me feel. Then I decided to not be deluded by his easy-going personality and said the lines that I had rehearsed through rejecting all of the other suitors, “my most sincere apologies, but I am afraid I am not looking for a husband at this point in time.” I bade my farewells and without a second glance, I walked back up to my room protected, safe, and secured with vinyl blinds on every wall.

Shortly after that day, the suitors ceased to enter through my door to the secret garden, just as I had intended. My mother informed me not long after my encounter with Elyas that he was to be wed, to a sweet and innocent girl, Daphne. She was referred to as, ‘the diamond of this season’s pool.’ When this information was revealed to me I was only able to stand there and think ‘Alone I am satisfied. Alone I am safe.’

The world went silent around me and the only sound was that of my mantra playing like a record on repeat.

I felt like a stone had plummeted deep into the well of my heart, and no one was there to retrieve it.

I thought of a dream I had the previous fortnight; of laugh, love, and ideals. In my nightgown, my skin glowing from the moonlight peeking through the vinyl blinds I stood in the center of my room my arm slightly bent just as mother had taught me, with my other arm slightly bent around an imaginary waist, and I waltzed. There was no music, the world was still silent, but I danced to the mantra that I had committed to living to the very end of my existence, ‘‘Alone I am satisfied. Alone I am safe.’

Then I stopped dancing, I let my arms fall to my side and stared out of the vinyl blinds of conviction.

Mahjur

“I feel like an illegitimate child

Forsaken by my parents

At least I can claim innocence

Since I did not ask to come into this world

A non-entity

An alien”

Walking Both Sides of an Invisible Border
Alootook Ipellie

“They say that the pain is permanent,” Mamma tells me. “But, do not believe what you hear, my dearest Laia, the pain is temporary when you look in your own child’s eyes and see reflections of yourself, you will see,” she said as she caressed my cheek lovingly. It was then that I realized the stronghold that the illness had on my mother, it became more apparent by each passing day. Her hair lost its sheen, her once bright and smooth skin was now dull and wrinkly, and her eyes once so full of life were clouded making it look like she had cataracts.

“Life has been cruel to you my dear, and it’s my fault for I have forsaken you, please forgive me,” she whimpered to me. I looked at her tears sliding down my own face as I said, “ Of course I forgive you.” She gently smiled after hearing my response, and said, “Even a grave sinner such as myself, possibly did one good thing in the past that can be the only reason why I am blessed with such a beautiful-souled daughter.”

Her expression subtly changed as she looked out the open window next to her cot and stared at her favorite tree adjacent to the river bank. Our small house was on the outskirts of town, the river acting as a partition between ourselves and them. From the little window, the view of what was on the other side of the invisible border was apparent. Then I heard my mother mutter under her breath, “I wonder if my soul will rise and touch his heart after I am gone.” That same night when she closed her eyes; she didn’t open them again.

My mother was buried under her tree next to the invisible border. There were only two people at my mother’s funeral: myself, and my mother’s long-term friend, Aunty Luna. She was actually my mother’s housewife during my birth. “You can come stay with me love, it might be hard to stay in this house by yourself, even if you are now eighteen years of age,” Aunty Luna said to me. “I am sorry Aunty Luna, but I will have to decline your offer; this was the place that my mother and I lived together all my life, and this will be the place that I stay. Don’t worry I’ll still be cleaning, cooking, and washing as you need.” She looked at me with eyes filled with sympathy and gave me a comforting hug before departing. Then I walked towards my house for the first time in my life, alone.

Later, that evening I walked over a small bridge that took me over the river which led towards the town. I had traveled down the hill like I had always done with my mother. Before entering the town, however, I made sure that my long polyester skirt covered up to ankles, my long-sleeved cotton shirt hung loosely off of my body, and my hair pulled back into a smooth knot at the base of my kneck. As I got closer anxiety began to kick in, and I fiddled with my clothing ensuring maximum coverage. An outsider would think I was walking into a room full of predators when in actuality I was going to purchase produce.

My mother’s conditioning rang in my ears, ‘Don’t look anyone in the eye and refrain from making unnecessary conversation with others; it will only come to hurt you in the end.”

First, I proceeded to purchase some vegetables and fruits using some of my income that I make working for Aunty Luna. Then I was off to the street vendor, Elyas, who always gave my mother and I a good deal on the meat that he had; I assume now it will be even cheaper.

Elyas was my mother’s friend from school, however, after my expectancy, his family like the family of all of her friends were forced to cut ties with her, so they did. Along with the man who gave me 50% of my biological material. During one of my mother’s deluded days, she looked into my eyes and said, “a complicated hazel just like his, my nose, and my hair; well at least I can see him through you.” I recall sitting there filled to the brim with anger, frustration, and loneliness.

As I arrived at Elyas’s corner of the street the glances upon seeing an alien on Earth never settled with the community members. The women, the whispers, and the white lies. I stood in front of Elyas, his eyes filled with sadness and pain and I knew that he was aware. I moved on and told him, “I’ll take the cheapest cut.” His gaze never left me, but I was already conditioned to stare anywhere but the eyes. He responded with a quiet, “alright.” He bagged the meat as I was pulling out the few bills that I needed, and he said, “I’m sorry Laia, she was a great friend of mine and-” I cut him off as I rummaged through my pockets and said, “But not sorry enough to show up at the funeral,” he looked at me and said, “Don’t you think I would’ve if I could’ve.”

At that moment a ball came rolling and stopped by my ankle. A little boy came bounding to retrieve it. I picked it up and slightly crouched while I held it out to him. He smiled at me with a toothy grin and said, “ thank you!” Just before I was about to respond a woman came running over to him, “Ren! I told you not to run off!” I stood straight. Then the woman gasped as she looked at me and wrapped an arm around him, a protective gesture, against an alien. “Son, don’t talk to her, she is dirty! She is abandoned! She is a non-entity!” As the woman and her child scrambled away to a safe distance, I purchased the cheap meat, ignored Elyas, and I walked feeling the hot stares of everyone around me burn into my skin.

Since I didn’t have anything, in particular, to do at home I decided to take the long way back through various twists and turns around town in order to regain my composure after what had happened.

Shortly while on this path a large crowd of people were congregating in the center of the town, so I joined them from afar. They were rejoicing in the heroism of a man by the name of Raquil, he was being praised for protecting the town against the evil of bandits and thieves. In honor of his bravery, the townspeople had created a statue in his name. No matter how much they praised him and wished for his goodwill and fortune; I knew what he really was, a man who betrayed his wife and father who abandoned his daughter. The sun began to set, so I remained no longer and walked on.

As I was nearing the end of the town I heard a crunching of leaves behind me. It was getting late so there was no one around especially not where I was headed. I quickened my pace. My heart was pounding in my ears. Then I felt my hair get pulled from the back of my head. A large muscular man grabbed me by my hair and pushed me to the ground, the meat falling out of my hands. I tried to run, but the man stepped on my ankle and snapped it like a twig, to which he menacingly cackled like he was having the time of his life. He looked at me with a malicious grin and said, “you know I love girls with a bit of fight in them.” He was a few meters away from me and I could smell the alcoholic fumes from him. The stench made me want to vomit. I looked at him and said, “what do you want? Money? I have some with me hold on-” He burst into a burst of bellowing laughter and said, “Money! Hah! You must be joking, there’s something else I’d rather take,” he replied in a predatorial fashion. There was no one around to hear my plea. No one to save me. I begged him, “please take anything else! Please not that! Please!”

Then I heard a gunshot. I covered my ears with my hands. I looked at my killer and he was dead; by none other than, Raquil, standing over his body.

I stood up with all of the strength I could muster. His back was facing me. Unable to control myself I said, “she is dead.” He didn’t look at me and said, “I know.” His indifference made my blood boil, “how could you? The woman died waiting for you,” I spat, “a weak sorry excuse of a man if you think I accept you as my father because you saved me from an animal you’re dead wrong!” He turned towards me and said, “ she isn’t dead, she’s living through you; your nose and hair are proof of the matter. Now head home I don’t want anyone to see us talking, I’ll take care of the rest.” I grabbed the meat that had fallen on the ground and continued on my way now with a limp.

About to cross the bridge over the river I saw a small basket gently pressing against the side of the shore closest to me. I walked over and peered into the basket, inside was a baby. Beautiful, asleep, and unaware of the cruelties of the world. A note was stuck to the inside of the basket that read,

Her name is Mahjur. Please, take good care of her.

I put down the meat on the side and picked up the baby from the basket. She opened her eyes and began to cry. I consoled her in my arms, and grabbed the meat in my other hand, and walked towards my house. At that moment mamma’s voice rang in my ears, “ the pain is temporary when you look in your own child’s eyes and see reflections of yourself”. As I entered I thought ‘no amount of consolement will heal the scar that this child will one day carry when she finds out that her name, Mahjur, is the Arabic word for abandoned.

Cookbook: Eating Your Feelings

Shorwa (Afghan delicious soup) - Afghan Yummy Food

Nana’s Recipe: Instant Shorwa

  1. Add ½ a diced onion to a pan with 1 tbsp of vegetable oil and allow the onions to saute for a few minutes-reminder cutting the onions will force you to cry tears that are less than 1/25 of the river your husband will cause, with the inclusion of all the other men in your life.

  2. Once the onions start becoming translucent add 1-2 minced garlic cloves to the pan with the onions and allow for the flavors to infuse but remember to brush your teeth after you eat bad breath is impolite and the level of manners that a woman possesses is the difference between a divorcee and a wife.

  3. Add 1 cup of crushed tomatoes that are as red as the blood that flows from a mother’s womb, unlike a man’s wretched heart that solely brings grief and betrayal.

  4. Add 1 tsp each of cumin, paprika, cayenne, or whatever masalas-spice blends are in your cupboard but most importantly make sure that the salt is “perfect” not too much or too little, or instead of sleeping in the safety of a warm bed you will be sleeping in a tool shed. Channay shorba with zeera rice Recipe by KK - Cookpad

  5. As a side prepare soft white fluffy rice if you fail to deliver this task you will be left on the floor to spit out pebbles and blood and the fragment of 2 broken molars.

  6. At the end make sure the table is set with the right utensils and cutlery but don’t say a word just eat and endure. 

     


 

Aziza and Laila’s Recipe: Hearty Halwa

quick gajar ka halwa recipe | gajar ka halwa recipe | gajar ka halwa in pressure cooker |

  1. Add 1 lb of cleaned and peeled carrots to a large pot once they are shredded as finely as the skin coating my muscle and sinew after my fight against a belt.

  2. Add 3 cups of milk that is as whole as Mariam’s heart and soul to the pot and allow the shredded carrots to bask in the milk and soften as the milk is absorbed into it which can take several hours of patience and endurance like most things. 

  3. Add 2/3 cups of butter that is as smooth as Aziza’s skin-well as Mariam describes it at least- to the pot and allow the butter to make the carrots extra creamy.

  4. Add 1-2 cups of sugar to bring sweetness to the lives of your few remaining loved ones and just as the sugar helps the carrots stick together it will also help you, your loved ones, and your toddler’s small hands to stick together.

    CARROT HALWA | GAJAR KA HALWA - Cook with Kushi

  5. Finally before serving to your husband garnish the dessert with sliced almonds and pistachios that serve as a reminder of your lover’s hazel eyes and their final trace found in your “harami.”

     

 


 

Rasmalai Recipe, How to make best soft Rasmalai at home | Recipe | Indian food recipes, Food, Indian desserts

Laila and Tariq’s Recipe: Rich Ras Malai

  1. Due to the lengthy process of preparing this dessert, I sent Tariq to the market to purchase a large ball of curdled milk known as chena which will later become the small sweet flattened balls soaked in milk syrup, in order to keep my mind at ease I made him promise that he would come back quickly and safely ever since Giti’s death I have been even more on edge.Rasmalai recipe | How to make soft rasmalai - Swasthi's Recipes

  2. In order to prepare the milk syrup known as rabri add 1 tsp of saffron to a pot with 3 cups of milk and the aroma will fill the house all the way from Mammy’s decrepit room to Babbi’s office. 

  3. Once the cream which is just as fluffy as Tariq’s curls floats to the surface move the cream aside and allow the rabri to sit until it is needed.

  4. Now that Tariq has returned with the chena kneed it ¼ of the amount compared to how much you need each other. 

  5. Then divide the chena into 12 balls portioning 4 chena per parent since neither of them could walk away from the obligations of their lives as dutiful children.

  6. Flatten the chena balls a little and then add them to the pot with the rabri after soaking it in a 1:1 ratio of sugar water syrup which will sweeten both the mood and the dessert.

  7. Lastly after chilling and garnishing with sliced pistachios serve and prepare another batch for us to enjoy alone.

     


 

Afghani Civilians Recipe: Black Chai THE BEST Chai Delivery in Colon | See Prices & Order Online | Uber Eats

  1. Add 1 tsp of loose black tea that is as dark as the hearts of the warlords and Taliban in the mugs of the tormented civilians of Afghanistan. 

  2. Allow the tea to steep in order to richen the experience and by some miracle, you might find salvation from your anguish while the tea takes its time embodying the dark color of the tea leaves. How to Steep Tea Like an Expert

  3. Add milk to lighten the situation and bring the brightness of a thousand suns to rid the innocent of darkness.

  4. Add sugar to the darkened tea to sweeten the lives for those who bring brightness to this destructive world instead of taking it away. 

     


 

Whiskey Bottles Painting | Etsy   

Blanche’s Recipe: The Whitewood Cocktail

  1. Add ½ oz of gin and 2 oz of whiskey from Stan- from my collection of drinks into the shaker. 

  2. Add 2 oz of the lemon coke that Stella brought home to the shaker. Citrus Rim Salt for Margaritas

  3. Dry-shake (without ice) the entire mixture and let it settle like my mind and past. 

  4. Then add chips of ice to the shaker and shake again and strain the cocktail into a chilled cocktail glass to make the drink as cold as the hearts of those who hurt me and are trying to hurt me. 


Image Bibliography:

https://cookpad.com/us/recipes/13807594-channay-shorba-with-zeera-rice 

https://www.afghanyummyfood.com/shorwa/ 

https://fineartamerica.com/featured/grandmas-kitchen-brian-winget.html 

https://www.cookwithkushi.com/carrot-halwa-recipe-gajar-ka-halwa-recipe/ 

https://www.tarladalal.com/gajar-ka-halwa–quick-gajar-halwa-recipe-2026r 

https://www.ticklingpalates.com/carrot-halwa-gajar-halwa-recipe-punjabi-gajar-ka-halwa/ 

https://www.indianhealthyrecipes.com/rasmalai-recipe-easy-rasmalai-in-10-mins-diwali-recipes/ 

https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/236298311678525785/ 

https://www.ubereats.com/cr-en/dish/colon-san-jos%C3%A9/chai 

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/how-to-steep-tea 

https://www.etsy.com/au/listing/622499399/whiskey-bottles-painting 

https://thecookful.com/citrus-salt-for-your-margarita-glass/ 

Where Tangents Meet

I closed my eyes and pictured what my Saturday mornings were like back in my studio apartment. I woke up beside my beautiful wife, Laia, who was as much of a sight as the photographs that she took albeit she never believed me. I loved to believe that our relationship was more than a simple coincidence. She was a climbing photographer and I a progressive artist. Our work was always intertwined. Her photographs brought life to my paintings and my paintings would breed inspiration for more photographs. My favorite Saturday morning was when we had finished our breakfast then from under the table she pulled out a leather-bound photo album. When I opened it there were so many pictures of the two of us, my favorite was the one that she took on Valentine’s last year. She baked small cakes that spelled out ‘Best Husband’ and caught my reaction. The slideshow of the past was interrupted by a terrible fit of coughing which eventually subsided after I spat up phlegm into a cup. Then the darker memories flooded my mind like blood pouring from an open wound which consisted of my last few days with her. Not long after isolation I came down with a nasty cold, however, by each passing day it alternated between better and worse although the paranoia that I had contracted the disease was killing me more than the flu. After the fourth day, I told my wife that I needed some fresh air she protested, but thought maybe it could help. I traveled to the hospital and was tested, poked here and prodded there then for once in my life I prayed that this situation would not be positive. Before being admitted to the hospital I tied a ribbon on my pinky as I vowed to Laia that no matter the various tubes and trials I would live, for her. I knew that I had loved a woman with every morsel in my body. It was pure and good which was more than most could say. The album that she gave me that one Saturday morning became my teleportation device and it always transported me back to beautiful memories. Some of the photos from the album sparked epiphanies in my mind so I continued to make art regardless of my condition. It kept me grounded. A tear slipped down my dried cheek just then my nurse, Julie came and took me for a routine examination. Every step I took felt like an uppercut to the lungs but I walked on and paused to look at the ribbon still tied to my pinky as I thought ‘always for her.’

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Me & My Shadow

There was a girl innocent she was, but she was alone.

People existed that wanted to break down her walls; little did they know that her wall was stronger than their patience could handle.

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Truth be told she is not scared of contact she is afraid of getting close, letting people know of her weaknesses and vulnerabilities then exposing her.

A time existed where she was surrounded by many friends and could not live in isolation however she has developed much thicker skin as the years went on.

Crack, Crack, Crack…

Lately, she has been a little preoccupied with the stressful life that she has been dealing with at home when she saw him.

Let’s be real loving this girl would be equivalent to loving a brick wall unemotional and impossible.

Though life had something else in store for her she met a boy he was nothing special so she left those thoughts alone.

There are some people in this world that will pull eye contact from the person that they are looking at that’s who he was.

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Since there continuous little staring contest became as common as a cold she waited for him to talk to her though instead it seemed that both of them were too scared to take the step.

She did nothing, he did nothing then something changed in both of them and their eye contact seemed to pull them closer like magnetic forces.

One day the boss of the bakery that she worked at asked her why she gives 20% in relationships but 100% in her work to that she had no answer then her boss continued and said word for word, “listen kid if you expect to get anywhere in life then make friends yes it is a gamble but some people are worth the risk and if you hide in your shadow like you do now chances are you won’t meet that person and you may have fights with that perfect person as well but all relationships have their imperfections but those moments are the ones that make it worth a million.”

The last day of school had arrived and their eye contact happened again as they exited the school her boss’s words were ringing in her mind and she made the choice of taking a leap of faith and said,

“Hey I know we make I contact a lot but we never talk so…”

He said in the middle of my incomplete thought “I know right I wanted to talk to you but I just didn’t know what to say…”

We both laughed at our idiocy.

Eight years have passed since that day and that scared and unemotional girl exists no more, she took that gamble at the end of high school and now she…

“Hey, how are the wedding preparations coming on your end?” He said with ruffled hair.

“As messy as your bed head,” I responded

He replied, ” good let’s get a coffee.”

Poems

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Taken

Midnight in the garden of good

and evil, but the sun also rises.

Everything is illuminated,

an ember in the ashes.

The left hand of darkness

let the northern lights

erase your name.

By the God of

small

things.

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Buried 

A girl,

Interrupted

She was the sailor who

Fell

From grace with the sea.

I know this much is true,

I heard the owl

Call my name

A great and terrible beauty

A reaper at the gates.

As dark as the grave

Wherein my friend

Is laid.

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Fiction: Snow White With The Red Hair

Image result for cool snow pics

FOUND IT she thought, she had been walking for what seemed like several hours before finding it. Crouching down, near the mossy earth she began observing it very meticulously not to confuse it with a killer however, the pattern of the light brown specks near the middle of the stem and the ridges along the edges of the pedals confirmed her hypothesis that this indeed is the Spelemee Herb. This herb is an Aushidary perennial they are very useful and if the roots are steamed and dried it can lower fevers, and alleviate pain too. Dong! Dong! Dong! Recognizing that faint sound of the clock tower, she quickly and efficiently removed the herb from where it was growing in the ground and put it in one of the safest pockets of her satchel and was racing through the trees and jumping over fallen logs so, she could open up her shop. She stopped running when she reached the edge of the hill and stood there briefly indulging in the bright rays of the sun, feeling the warmth on her skin and inhaling the smell of a new day, before dashing down the hill and making her way through the town and entering her shop, just as she did every day.

“ See you soon Ms. Karmir.”

“Ok, feel better Yoshi,” Yoshi is one of Karmir’s usual patients, and before exiting her shop he always gives her a toothy grin that always makes her smile back at him. It’s times like these that make her wonder if he knew how much that smile makes her day.

“ Thanks for your patience, your still waiting for your medicine, right Kinoe?” Karmir said to another one of her regulars who was calmly drinking her tea.

“Yes, but please take your time I just came to let my eyes rest on your beautiful red hair I have never seen anything quite so extraordinary!”

“That’s so sweet thank you, but since I already have you here I’ll start preparing another remedy, I found some good medicinal herbs so please take some with you.” She said while struggling to unscrew a cork on a bottle of medicine.

“ Unh! Unh! Unh!” Cried Kinoe.

“What’s the matter are you alright?” Karmir asked with concern in her voice.

“You have turned into a very fine young herbalist if only your late grandparents could see this they would be beaming with pride,” Kinoe said between sobs.

And all of a sudden she jumped out of her chair and said “ Oh my goodness I believe I left the stove on I must go, oh dear silly me. Hm, Hm, Hm. ”

Shortly after Kinoe left, Karmir took a piece of parchment and wrote down the prescription that she was going to give Kinoe the next time she saw her.

After doing so, she heard the jingling of the front door bells and looked up from her work,“ did you forget something?” She said expecting to see Kinoe however, she was surprised to see that the person standing in the doorway was a man.

Karmir then put down the prescription and began walking over to the man in the doorway, he is tall and has broad shoulders, and wore a sword at his hip and he wore what seemed like a uniform along with a cape that’s pinned at one of his shoulders. Karmir’s eye caught the sight of a crest that’s used to pin his cape she knew the design that’s on the pin she was very familiar with it as if it were part of her own name, it is the insignia of the Kingdom of Taunbarun.  

“Did you say Prince Raj’s . . . concubine?” Karmir asked the man while inquisitively tilting her head.

“Yes, in other words, you Karmir Farih will be his mistress,” the man said while mocking Karmir’s head tilt.

“Absurd! I can’t believe he would be interested in a common girl like me just because of the color of my hair, I would be an embarrassment to him!”

“Still, Prince Raj has taken a liking to you, therefore, you are required to formally appear at the castle tomorrow morning!” With every word he began stepping closer to Karmir making her withdraw back until eventually hitting her back on one of the tables.

The man adjusted his sword and was standing over her now, and said,” I suggest you look presentable.” And just like that, he left.

The sun was starting to set and the evening bells were ringing, that incident left Karmir very confused she just sat there thinking of what to do next. Then she got up and began repeating the prescriptions to herself while gathering all the required materials and began measuring them out.

“For Kinoe something to ease her back pain and her inflamed respiratory tract,” Karmir said this while pouring the ground herbs into an envelope and sealing it with Kinoe’s name and the purpose that the medicine would serve.

“Yes, so who’s next?” Karmir asked herself. The preparations took a while, but she eventually finished working after dark, everything was organized each envelope had the name of the receiver and the medicinal property of the herbs written on it.

“That takes care of everyone,” Karmir said to herself.

She turned around and looked at her reflection in the mirror and gently gathered her hair on to one shoulder and held a pair of the cutters in her hand the metal was cool against her skin  “please know this wasn’t your fault,” almost seeming to apologize to her hair, the final sound was that of the blades making contact with her hair.

Karmir left her cut hair tied by the purple ribbon she was wearing that morning, and let her crimson hair pour over the window sill. Then she took her satchel filling it with any essential herbs and pulled on her cloak she pulled the hood over her shoulder-length hair in order to cover it so, no one will be able to recognize her on the streets and, with that she closed the door and was off on her journey.

She met a gentleman at the edge of town who was driving a carriage that was carrying crates filled with hay and she asked this man if he would be willing to let her ride on the back of his carriage he agreed, however, he told her that he had to go very far north so, she asked him if he could drop her off at the Ordine Forest which was on the way and he kindly agreed.

As the carriage was getting farther away from her town Karmir whispered to herself, “Goodbye Taunbarun, I’ll miss you.”

Once they had reached the forest, the carriage had stopped and Karmir hopped off from the back she thanked the gentleman and out of kindness gave him 10 silver pieces he insisted that he did not need any money but eventually he was convinced.

Karmir was walking through the trees in search of some shelter when eventually, she saw a house from afar and she began walking near it, the house was a light chestnut colour with a door that was a few shades darker than the house.

She made it to the doorstep and knocked while saying, “excuse me, excuse me is anyone home may I come inside.” There was no response so Karmir sat down with her back against the side of the house,” it wouldn’t be courteous if I just walked inside. And it’s already getting dark and I am starting to get hungry,” Karmir said to herself in dismay, however, before she could do anything else her exhaustion quickly took over and she let it.

Karmir slowly woke up to the sound of the birds chirping, she had almost forgotten where she even was though soon enough she remembered everything.

Then she heard some footsteps and out of defense she pulled her satchel closer to herself, then

there was a voice,”Mitsuhide, Kiki I’m going on ahead!”

And in reply came, “Hey, careful bragger you’ll hurt yourself!”

Then Karmir was surprised to see a boy he was smiling and jumping over the wall that was acting as a fence the boy seemed to be the same age as her, his hair is a light silver almost white color, and short to medium in length, though long enough to cover his forehead, but not long enough to reach his shoulder and his eyes are cobalt blue like the waters.

The boy was surprised to see a girl and while jumping he lost his footing and fell on his arm. The boy was crouching down in front of her and making little sounds due to the pain.

A man with black hair and a woman with light brown hair both with swords at their sides came running over with worry written on their faces, and the man said,” I told you so Zen! Are you hurt? Did you fall on your head? Tell me, what’s 1+1?”

“Purple, wait . . . who are you again?”

“It’s me Mitsuhide!”

“Oh, I forgot was that your name,” said the woman from behind the black haired man.

“Kiki! Not helping, even a little bit.”

Then the boy crouched down on the ground began laughing and Karmir used this as an opportunity to slip away without being noticed but just as she started to crawl away.

“Hold,” said the boy sharply to Karmir.

He stood up and said, “ mind telling me who you are, and what you’re doing in the woods all alone?”

“Oh . . . I just uh . . . I just left my home and I was in a hurry so I got rather lost and ended up on a random road and I’m here.” Karmir was saying this while instinctively pulling her hood to cover her hair, then the boy pointed his sheathed sword at her and with the flick of his wrist, sent her hood flying off.

“ You have very unusual hair.”

“Yeah, I know I hear that frequently.”

Karmir looked up at him and noticed that his arm had started to turn red, “oh, your arm it’s swollen.”

“Enh, I’ve had worse.”

“You’re in luck I’m an herbalist I have healing poultice you can use on it that’ll help.”

“No thanks, it could be poison or something I am not going to fall for that little trick I wasn’t born yesterday you know, trust is something earned not given in other words we’re done here.”

“Oh.”

“So, off you go then.”

Then Karmir thought, that is a valid point who would trust a stranger so, she planned to convince him that she wasn’t any kind of threat. She firmly grasped the sword that was in its sheath

“Hey, what are you . . .” the boy was going to ask more but, before he could Karmir slammed the sword against her arm she opened a container that had lotion in it and put the cream on some medical fabric and stuck it to her arm, she held it out in front of the boy.

“Sorry, to disappoint but I don’t usually carry poison.”

The boy dropped the sword and dropped down to his knees in a fit of laughter.

“I’m sorry about that, my name is Zen.”

“And mine is Karmir.”

“It’s lovely to meet you Karmir however, I think you’re partially responsible for my less than graceful landing,” he said while holding out his arm.

“Huh?”

“No one lives in this house but we spend time here. So, the one getting beaten at chess over there is Mitsuhide Rowan the one doing the beating is Kiki Seiran they are my attendants but, more than that they are my friends.”

“Zen, how do you know I am losing when you aren’t even paying attention to the game.”

“ I can just tell.”

“Ok, you’re all fixed up now.”

“Wow, you’ve got impressive skill Karmir.” Zen said while admiring how precisely Karmir had bandaged his arm.

“I’ve been at this a while I did tell you I was an herbalist.”

“Yes, you did so why would a talented herbalist run away from home?”

“The reasons not important excuse me, I need some air.”   

“Hey, why did you come with me?”

“I couldn’t let you go into these woods all by your lonesome that would be quite ungentlemanly.”

“Oddball I became very comfortable in the outdoors while studying to be an herbalist.” The sun was peeking out from behind the clouds sending a few rays of sunlight shining on Karmir’s hair and a soft breeze was gently blowing her hair out of her face as she spun around.

“The time and air here flow differently than they do in town I actually like it much better,” Karmir said while resting her back against a tree.

“Couldn’t agree more.”

“Look who isn’t all bluff and bluster.”

“Ow, that really hurts.”

“Oh, looks like your hair’s caught you have a strand that’s longer than the others.”

“Hmm, oh I must have missed that piece earlier.”

“Hey, Zen will you cut it off for me? It doesn’t have to be straight.”

“Possibly but, I’ll only do it if you answer a question for me, did cutting your hair have something to do with why you ran away from home? If you tell me the reason maybe then I could help you.”

“You’re a terrible person.” As a reply Zen through his hands in the air as a shrug.

“You were ordered to be a concubine!”

“Yes, by a very famous boy he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth he thought my hair was unusual and wanted to keep it to himself like a prize if I had obeyed his order then it would have been just like he was buying an apple at a market. So, that’s why I thought I would give him at least part of what he wanted and I left my hair behind.”

“Haha! That was ingenious thinking. Good job escaping from that buffoon it’s your lucky red after all.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, color has meaning and red is supposed to represent fate, you may not like it much now but your red might lead to something good when you least expect it.”

“Wow, you have an amazing outlook Zen.”

“Oh, some respect!”

As Zen and Karmir approached the house they both saw a basket sitting on the doorstep.

“What’s this?”

Zen picked it up, and Karmir couldn’t believe what she was seeing “on the handle that’s. . . the ribbon I had tied to my hair.”

They were sitting down inside the house and Zen was reading the card, that was attached to the basket “So, you’re from Taunbarun, I see.” Karmir nodded as a response while twisting the ribbon around her fingers.

“Which means the person who dropped off this basket of apples traveled all the way to the border just to find you. He’s a determined fellow I’ll give him that much.”

“Hmm . . . right.”

“This isn’t a joke! How bad was it that you were forced to leave the kingdom?”

“I had to leave because of who he is someone powerful, the first Prince of Taunbarun.”

“Raj! That Royal Moron!”

“Yes, that’s him he’s so stupid that all the neighboring countries know it.”

“I don’t blame you for running he doubtlessly had people everywhere tearing apart all the border crossing records.”

“Do you really think that he would go that far?”

“If there’s something he wants bad enough he probably already assumes that it belongs to him.”

“Even if it means caging it he’s awful.” Karmir picked up an apple to distract herself and ran her thumb over it, “ it’s starting to go bad, this red is no good to anyone now . . .I’m just kidding.”

Zen stood up and made his way over to where Karmir was sitting he grabbed her hand that held the apple and took a bite out of it.

“How rude of you, it’s her apple Zen why don’t you get your own,” said Mitsuhide from the staircase.

“What are you? Ehh! Ehh!”

“You should either talk or eat don’t do both.”

“Nobody asked you stay out of it!”

“Oh, now you’re just being mean.”

“Zen.”
“What now!”

“I was being foolish I am sorry.”

“Karmir I would put that apple down if I were you . . .  Mitsuhide, Kiki don’t get mad.”

“Zen!”

“Zen!”

“What happened?”

“Zen!”

Karmir rubbed the apple on her arm and sniffed the fragrance. “It’s poisoned!”

“Can you help him?”

“Give me a moment!”

“No good I can’t prepare one with what I have if I don’t hurry . . . ”

The door squeaked open, “my, my looks like someone else has tasted the apple instead of Ms. Karmir,” it was the man who visited her pharmacy yesterday, the one with the lifeless toned voice.

“Who are you!” Yelled Mitsuhide

“How could you do this!”

“Calm yourself Ms.”

“A certain someone possesses the antidote. I trust now you will come with me quietly.”

Karmir turned her head and looked at Zen’s pale lifeless face “yes I’ll cooperate,” she replied

Her thoughts were drifting to the worst of places Zen would be suffering and the most he could stay alive for is twenty-four hours, that is if his body can fight the toxins until she can get the antidote to him.

“Move quickly don’t keep his Royal Highness waiting,” said the soldier who escorted her here.

She almost forgot that they had now arrived at the place where she had tried so desperately to escape, the Kingdom of Taunbarun. She entered a very grand house; it was very lavish but not pristine enough to be considered the main estate.

The doors closed behind her with a huge thump the sound would have normally made her jump if it wasn’t for her unwavering focus on getting the medicine. She walked toward the chair this young gentleman was sitting on; he looked as if he were a year or two older than her. He also looked as if he had always depended on others for everything. So pathetic, she thought.

“Oh, so you have arrived; it’s quite a surprise I didn’t think that red hair you left behind was real,” he said as if thoroughly amused.

Karmir was quick to interrupt, “ But what about the cure?”

“All in good time. Just so you know, Ms. Karmir, this is a very judgemental world we live in, the fact that I graciously courted you and you ran away has made me a laughing stock all over Taunbarun. However, despite my shame, the unanimous opinion is that it is nobody’s fault except for your own. So we need to wipe this filth from my good name and in order to do that you will have to become my concubine.”

He swiftly moved toward Karmir when she had her guard down and he gently touched the hair that had fallen to the front of her face and said softly,” now that I can see how truly beautiful you are, I think I will keep you very close to me. And if you agree to my proposal then I will have the antidote here in seconds.”

Karmir was clenching her fists at her side and then her hands went loose and she slapped the Prince’s hand away from her skin. His face was one to behold confusion and surprise all compiled together.

“Very well, Prince Raj. Take me if you wish but, you should know what you’re getting. She said so, viciously that it had him reeling back. All before her savior had made his grand entrance.

The door burst open and a palace guard went flying into the room.

“I object!”

“Zen!“

“You Wretch!” Yelled the palace guard as he tried to attack Zen with his sword but, Zen was too fast for him, Zen hit him with his sheathed sword and sent the guard spinning through the air and hitting the floor with a loud boom! Mitsuhide and Kiki were also not far behind him.

“You will stop spewing such disgusting filth into that poor girl’s ears you pig!”

“Zen!”

“Hey, Karmir tie this for me?”

“Wait before that, what about your body are you okay?”

“I’ve spent the last few years building up an immunity to different poisons.”

“So, you’re the one who took a bite out of the poisoned apple. That was rather unfortunate, I had planned to immobilize Ms. Karmir so, I could take her back home with me.”

“Why am I not surprised, that you were behind a bad apple.”

“Best mind your manners around me country boy peasants like you should show more respect to royalty.”

“Oh, pardon me sensitive delicate first monarch of Taunbarun I mean Prince Raj Shinizad, I am not one for formal introductions but. . . ” Zen held up his sword so, Raj could clearly see it.

“ I recognize . . . that crest.”

“As well you should imbecile! Meet the second Prince of Clarines Kingdom, I am Zen Wisteria.”

“Did you say, prince?”

“Zen please calm down, get a hold of yourself, do you know who I am? What’s 1+1?

“It’s true Karmir but, I never actually thought I would be poisoned by anyone much less a half-wit prince from a neighboring kingdom, it could mean war!”

“No! Asides you, you have no proof that I poisoned the apple!”

“Oh I think we have plenty,” said Kiki.

“Yeah we’ll see what’s what when we make an official inquiry liar,” said Mitsuhide from beside her.

“No please wait for I . . .I.”

“Then why don’t we make a trade Prince Moron, if you don’t want your deceptive actions to be a matter of public record than swear that you will never come near Karmir again or even dare to say her name out loud!”

“How do you know Karmir?”

“Okay . . . okay, I promise please cross my heart!”

“Karmir, surely you have some things to say to him if you want to air some grievances you should it now,” Zen said with a look of weariness on his face.

“Here Prince Raj an apple, to get your strength back, since your so scared that you can’t even move. Also, give Zen the antidote now!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

That was the last thing that Prince Moron ever said to her before he was taken back to his castle and Karmir hoped that in this time he learns how to be a decent human being.

“Thank you.”

“For what Karmir?”

“Because you saved me from danger Zen. But I’m sorry it looks like that I’m only poisonous to you.”

“Is that supposed to be a joke because I was poisoned by an apple and, you’re as red as one is that what you mean?”

“No, not really.”

“Don’t worry, it’s not something for which you need to apologize. Zen made the choice to eat the apple himself but, we all should’ve been more careful about it that’s all. Although, Mitsuhide carried on like the end of the world was near and started to weep like a child.”

“Hey, shut up Kiki!”

“So, tragic.”  

“Okay, okay next time I have fruit I’ll have Mitsuhide test it out before I eat it.”

“What’s that now?”

“Haha! Karmir do you remember what I said to you in the forest, I meant every word. And I truly hope are fate brought us together for something good. We both happened to be in the same place for very different reasons and we saved each other, maybe poison isn’t always bad, maybe our meeting wasn’t a fluke but, the beginning of a new chapter I guess it’s up to you now.”

“Is that true that I can choose my fate for myself?”

“Of course, that’s exactly what I’m doing and no one is going to stop me.You can follow one path or you can go a different direction neither of which is wrong.”

“Zen you . . .”

“I what?”

“You know I really do like the way you think.”

“But, it’s not how I think it’s how I live. So, what’s your answer?” He asked holding out his hand.

This is her story. If she had her own way on the path after this encounter you could hear the sound of pages turning in the story and they echo like her footsteps moving towards

“destiny,” and with that she took his hand.

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Poem and Explication/Explanation

River Poem:

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Where It Belongs

Go ahead and say it to me

That you know all I can be,

You’ve been studying every droplet

Of my ever-changing sea.

But weren’t you ever taught

That seas are simply where it ends?

The aspects that tell the story

Are the river’s that swirls and bends.

The ocean isn’t everything,

It’s part of its’ of course,

But you can never judge its currents

If you do not know its’ beginning.

Explanation:

First and foremost, this poem was inspired by the poem Rivers written by Eric Hansen an amazing poet that I recently found and I knew that I had to incorporate his works in my first official poetry attempts.

I was really stricken when I first read Eric Hansen’s poem from which my work was inspired because it revolved around many topics including belonging, and pretenses of all sorts.

The first few lines are directed towards those who derive their own false assumptions about others with little to no true facts specifically the line, “That you know all I can be.”  This line made me think of adults or other teens that belittle others and come to an overall basis for the level skills that the individual has in a particular area; similar to words/phrases such as worthless, useless, you will amount to nothing, etc.,

The following lines talk about change and how with the passage of time we all as human beings progress for better or for worse. The line “studying every droplet of my ever-changing sea” suggests that outsiders be it specific individuals or the society as a whole are dissecting and watching every movement that you make; they are just waiting for you to fall.

After that, the next few lines outline the ignorance and foolishness of these people through the line “But weren’t you ever taught” this line adds another layer of depth to the poem because it is almost revealed of the idiocy of those judgemental folks in the beginning. Moreover, there is parallelism, in the beginning, those who were acting all high and mighty were lowering others, but now they are being lowered.

Nearing the end of the poem the message leads to the fact that there are connections amongst many things and one thing may lead to the next. Furthermore, for those that choose to judge it is important to look at the bigger picture before coming to these false conclusions.

Finally, the last line “you can never judge its currents if you do not know its’ beginning” adds to the previous theme of acknowledging where something comes from and the circumstances that they are coming from before getting angry at them for their behavior or attitude.

Overall, this was my first attempt at writing an official poem and this piece really captures my emotions and how I feel about the treatment of many individuals within society today and I hope that that changes, and becomes more welcoming and accepting.

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Bow View Manor: Short Story

The Unexpected Journey

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This story is inspired by the life of ,Brian Strauss, a very warm and caring individual who is capable of sharing a world of stories in very few words. While speaking with him I was able to see an individual who truly enjoys and appreciates the world around him such as the mountains and forested areas right outside of Calgary. Finally, within the few short minutes that we spoke for I was able to learn a lot.

He looked around, surrounded by the hum of the wind as he enjoyed the view. Mountains left and right the air was so crisp and clean in comparison to where he previously was the warmth from the sun washed over him. Today was a good day, he had an intuitive feeling about it. The day he’d been anticipating for, yearning for had arrived. He’d just have to wiggle a bit more through the queue and it would be his turn, his chance to explore the beautiful world that surrounded him all his life.

He looked at his friends, they were of all shapes and sizes but it didn’t matter. They would explore the world together! Even Larry at the end who’d looked a bit sick lately. He readied his voice and gave the command and they began pushing and shoving.

Before they knew it, it had happened. They were free, the adventure had begun and they were now bounding to lands where…oh God! Who knows! He stood there for a moment relishing in the freedom that he had been given. Places they had only seen from pictures online, landscapes that they merely heard from other people, and a new home among new and exciting friends.

The landing had been quite rough but they had managed. Larry had gotten separated from them but not to worry, he would probably catch up later once he’d recovered. As we landed I remember seeing some workers down below they had huge machines embedded in the ground they were gathering oil; my father worked in the coal mining industry he was always so strong willed and prepared for anything. Seeing that canyon reminded me of all of the good times that the two of us had together. He remembered going on long walks with his father when he took him to the park and they would talk on and on about whatever was on their mind that day.

Their next journey began as if he had to say it.

It had been a rough couple of days but it could only go up from here. Larry hadn’t come back yet but he could still make it although their room had been quite small it hadn’t seemed like they had moved a lot. Next time he was definitely upgrading their tickets, they had been stuck between at least a thousand other passengers and he was happy he’d been in the middle. He couldn’t imagine the guys on the sides, they must’ve been crushed.

The next time he woke they had apparently arrived because they were all sitting on a balcony. The view was kind of horrible, and the sun wasn’t nearly as warm as it used to be. Now that he looked more closely there also seemed to quite a lot of them… those creatures he’d only ever seen one at home. All of that was quickly forgotten when he saw the creatures walked past him. One of them was moving straight towards them. They seemed a lot larger. A lot larger! It picked them up and dropped them.

It seemed a bit rough but at least, they had been the only travelers this time. He’d have to talk to the agency when he figured out who they were. Now they were sat in what appeared to be a see-through barrier. This place also had multiple suns but these were warmer than the former place.

Another one of the creatures moved towards them, much smaller than the others but it seemed to be very interested in them. It hovered over them for a bit before one of its claws moved towards him. It grabbed a hold of him and before he knew it, it ripped him from the others. He looked down at his friends as he moved towards the little creature.

As the boy took a bite of the banana, his mother looked at him.

“Oh Jonathan, we’re having dinner in less than an hour. You won’t be able to eat anything!” and they both laughed as he threw the rest of it out.

His eyes slowly opened tears were welling up in his eyes, it was only just a dream.

This story is inspired by the stories that I received from an amazing man named Brian Strauss I heavily appreciated the brief that time that I spent speaking with him. He is a very humble man and I was able to hear and envision the experiences of a man who has seen the beauty in the natures of the world.

Sincerely,

Kshef.K

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May Free Choice: Bitter Sweet

via GIPHY

Dear Mom and Dad,

 

I can’t believe that it’s already been ten years . . . I know I write you guys pretty often, with the exception of these past few weeks; I’m really sorry I was just caught up in school and my part-time job it’s been rough, but I’m still grateful nonetheless. Besides if I didn’t have all of these To Do Lists then all I would do in my free time would be pondering about what could have been if you didn’t…Well it’s not like I’m alone or anything I have Aunt May she’s doing really well, her cooking as per usual is amazing she makes these pecan tarts, I know you would have loved them, Dad. These tarts are to die for. Their best eaten fresh when the crust is warm and flaky,  it has this gooey filling with sweet corn syrup mixed with maple and then there are crunchy pecans to top it all off it really is a delight! Aunt May has been taking great care of me I know that I say this in my letters often, but I truly appreciate all that she has done for me: for example making sure I eat enough, pick me up from school if the bus doesn’t come, (you would be surprised how frequently that happens) and most importantly she always makes me feel loved which above all else is more than what I could have ever asked for.

Not to forget my partner in crime, Rose, she is getting old but she’s also aliv- … I don’t think she has much time left. Her body is so frail and weak almost as if with the slightest touch she’ll just break into a million fragments that can’t be put back together. Whenever I see her I am always reminded of all of the memories that the three of us shared together, sitting around the fireplace telling stories and playing with Rose when she was just a kitten. Now things are a little different she can barely move now, what was it that you always said mom, “It’s not about having time. It’s about making time.”

Time it really is evil it neither stops nor waits for wounds to heal before new ones arise on fresh skin I guess that’s what it means to live.

And, I forgot to mention to you guys I applied to the University of Calgary so I can be apart of the Biological Sciences Department in the fall of next year, and guess what I GOT IN! Isn’t that amazing, I still can’t believe it. Here, this is my plan for the future:

  • I am going to complete my undergraduate degree in Biological Sciences (4 years)
  • Then in my third year, I am going to write the MCAT
  • Then hopefully get into the Medical School here in Calgary (4 years)
  • Finally, after that, I can go and do my residency (3 years).

A really extensive plan I know (the information above is a summary of the actual plan that I have), but don’t worry I have been taking all three sciences for the last two years and have been doing very well all my teachers have been providing me with great feedback and I am really grateful to all of them. Not to mention I have been volunteering at a lot of places recently to help underprivileged children with their learning or with activities and recreation that they have been meaning to do. Even though this is not an employed job it really is rewarding, there is this girl her name is Ella her mother and father are trying to make ends meet so, in order to let their daughter have some fun she drops her off at the facility I volunteer at. The look on that little girl’s face as she completes a craft project or if I read her a really good story is sheer bliss, and in turn, it fills me up with bliss as well: that is why I continue what I do.

Overall, I am very content with how my life is progressing these days. I am also very excited to see what will later become of my life as I begin university later, but whatever happens I will be very grateful; don’t worry I am very determined to become a general thoracic surgeon because they have so many specializations that can save countless lives not only here in Calgary, but in third-world countries as well. Not to mention I can work extremely hard to make sure that no other eight-year-old girl loses both her and mother and father… 

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Thank you for all of your love I will always keep you updated.

 

Love your Daughter,

Frost

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