A Sound Soul Inhabits A Sound Mind
This one act of furthering your knowledge can spark a light;
Or begin to breed the embers to an inferno.
Just this one, nothing more and nothing less.
It is able to inflict a larger repercussion than
That of a civil war.
One may say,” with great power comes
With great responsibility.”
This flame is the complete embodiment
Of the human desires.
Which contain the drive to prosper, and
To become a better individual
Through this growth the ignorance that
Once clouded the mind can begin to clear.
The only boundaries that are there are rather
Those that you allow your imagination to contain.
It can be a single spark or tens of thousands can erupt.
Some can be temporary or everlasting as the
Impact of learning can make.
These embers of thirst resemble the pure nature
Of the growing of a tree.
This creature too lifts, breathes, and lives
To stand tall and proud.
Though it all started with one small seed
Buried in the depths of the mind.
It grew, it bloomed, it took life and like many things
Whilst requiring nurturing, and soft tentative care;
Or death would have slowly begun to run its
Alluring claws over it and eventually,
Enveloped the entirety of its being.
This environment, this class, and this room
Upon the first day, the room door was wide open
Almost like the warmth of an embrace
That you receive from your mother that she
Provides to her child with solace in ultimate times of grief.
Silence lies within this room,
But it lacks nothing, rather it sprouts life in the hearts of
All that step within these walls.
At this very moment in time
The thoughts, inquiries, and vicious ideas
Pound in my skull like thunder this storm
Can spread and result in raging collisions,
However, when this disarray dissipates
All that will remain is a beautiful rainbow
That will lighten the entire sky, and remove any signs of impurities.
The colors of this light represent the revived
Mind meant for daily uses,
It breathes by June’s end
Only to lead to the warmth that summer will bring.
Digital Images:
GIPHY. (2019). EARTHY LIFE GIF [Image]. Retrieved from https://giphy.com/gifs/trippy-9lRBSGg6l68Hm
Bloomburg. (2019). Hot Brain Cool Brain [Image]. Retrieved from https://www.resilience.org/stories/2016-06-15/hot-brain-cool-brain/
Dear Kshef,
Your writing is really nice to read! the flow was very smooth and I really like the message of this poem. The tone you used fit well with the lines and words of the piece. The way you used adjectives and personification when you said “Or death would have slowly begun to run its / Alluring claws over it and eventually, / Enveloped the entirety of its being” worked very efficiently and it created an image in my head.
The one thing I’d suggest is to not capitalize the first word of every line, especially when it is in the middle of a sentence. Other than that, it was amazing!
I hope to read more of your works in the future!
Sincerely,
Caitlyn
Dear Caitlyn,
The fact that you enjoyed reading the piece that I have composed makes me very happy. I am an inexperienced blogger and I am still finding my way so, I greatly appreciate the constructive feedback that you have given me! There are still some areas of my writing that I can improve upon and with the comment that you have supplied me with. I will do my very best in order to implement the suggestions that you have proposed in order to further my writing and be able to write a strong piece that hopefully contains fewer grammar mistakes.
I thank you again for your time in commenting and reading my blog 🙂
Sincerely,
Kshef
Dear Kshef,
I really love the writing style you used for your free choice. The message you portrayed through your poem is powerful and impactful. It gave me insight on a deeper meaning of life itself. One of my favorite lines is, “This flame is the complete embodiment of the human desires.”
Despite this, the only problem I have resides in the length of the poem itself. I feel that with a long poem, the reader can get sidetracked. The message of the poem could be affected negatively due to length (but you managed to portray it perfectly).
Love,
Cindy <3
Dear Cindy,
The fact that you enjoyed reading the piece that I have composed makes me very happy. I am an inexperienced blogger and I am still finding my way so, I greatly appreciate the constructive feedback that you have given me! There are still some areas of my writing that I can improve upon and with the comment that you have supplied me with. I will do my very best in order to implement the suggestions that you have proposed in order to further my writing and be able to write a strong piece that hopefully contains the improvements that you have suggested.
I thank you again for your time in commenting and reading my blog 🙂
Sincerely,
Kshef
Dear Kshef;
This was very imaginative. Poetry is not my strongest area, but I truly enjoyed your metaphor and your ideas in this piece. If I were to offer criticism, I would caution you to observe your grammar, as there were some mistakes that I noticed farther up near the beginning. Other than that, this was wonderfully, written.
Sincerely,
Tony
Dear Tony,
The fact that you enjoyed reading the piece that I have composed makes me very happy. I am an inexperienced blogger and I am still finding my way so, I greatly appreciate the feedback that you have given me! There are still some areas of my writing that I can improve upon and with the comment that you have supplied me with. I will do my very best in order to implement the suggestions that you have proposed in order to further my writing and be able to write a strong piece that hopefully contains the improvements that you have suggested.
I thank you again for your time in commenting and reading my blog and I look forward to reading your book🙂
Sincerely,
Kshef
Dear Kshef,
Through this whole piece I was hooked! Your writing is phenomenal and the overall theme this post brings forth for me is one of new beginnings. It was a very mesmerizing and smooth read because of your use of language and capability of grabbing the attention of the reader. Your flow in writing really enhances your work and the way that your formatted your writing gave it strong structure. The message you portrayed through your poem is powerful and impactful. It lead me to think, “Wow Kshef can simply top any piece of writing!” And, my statement still holds true. This piece hit hard for me in a lot of ways. One of my favorite lines is,
“To become a better individual
Through this growth the ignorance that
Once clouded the mind can begin to clear.
The only boundaries that are there are rather
Those that you allow your imagination to contain.”
I love these lines as you pursue to talk about the betterment of individuals and how we as humans are bound to live in a limitless way if we simply allow ourselves to. It provides an insight into how we perceive ourselves and I really loved reading about it. You’re writing was pretty much already perfect but if I were to be really picky, I would have to agree with some of the previous comments about being more aware of a few grammar mistakes that are present in your writing. Also, I would agree with Caitlyn about not capitalizing the first word of every sentence as it tends to be a little confusing.
Otherwise, this is some really strong work and I hope to view more of your work soon!
Sincerely,
Arzoo
Dear Arzoo,
The fact that you enjoyed reading the piece that I have composed makes me very happy. I am an inexperienced blogger and I am still finding my way so, I greatly appreciate the constructive feedback that you have given me! There are still some areas of my writing that I can improve upon and with the comment that you have supplied me with. I will do my very best in order to implement the suggestions that you have proposed in order to further my writing and be able to write a strong piece that hopefully contains fewer grammar mistakes.
I thank you again for your time in commenting and reading my blog 🙂
Sincerely,
Kshef
That was a perplexing piece. I enjoyed the gif, it was beautifully illustrated and it is so univeral in the sense that it can have multiple interpretations. I loved your piece, the flow was beautiful but the only thing I ask of you is correcting a few GUMP’s (Grammar related mistakes). Otherwise, keep up the excellent work.
Dear Kshef,
That was a perplexing piece. I enjoyed the gif, it was beautifully illustrated and it is so univeral in the sense that it can have multiple interpretations. I loved your piece, the flow was beautiful but the only thing I ask of you is correcting a few GUMP’s (Grammar related mistakes). Otherwise, keep up the excellent work.
Sincerely,
Faryal
Dear Faryal
The fact that you enjoyed reading the piece that I have composed makes me very happy. I am an inexperienced blogger and I am still finding my way so, I greatly appreciate the feedback that you have given me! There are still some areas of my writing that I can improve upon and with the comment that you have supplied me with. I will do my very best in order to implement the suggestions that you have proposed in order to further my writing and be able to write a strong piece that hopefully contains the improvements that you have suggested.
I thank you again for your time in commenting and reading my blog and I look forward to reading your book🙂
Sincerely,
Kshef